I’ve never had to admit I had or was riding the wrong horse. The more time that goes by since I sold Dexter, it’s becoming more and more apparent how wrong he was for me. Does that make him a bad horse? Absolutely not. He has a lot of fabulous qualities and I believe the timing was right to sell him when I did.
I never wanted to admit he was the wrong horse for me because I felt like that would have been the same thing as saying that I had failed. That I wasn’t a good enough rider to ride him. That I wasn’t good enough to bring along a green horse. I kept trying to convince myself I could do it. That I could and wanted to ride him.
Truth be told? I didn’t want to ride him. Did I have the skill? Yes. Can I ride a green horse? Also yes. Despite our 5+ years of being mismatched, many days I loved that horse more than life itself. He was my best friend. The best thing I could have asked for happened before I sold him: I was enjoying riding him again. Which made the decision to sell him even more difficult. However, as I continue riding new horses and overcoming my many riding-related fears, I’m reminded that I am a good rider. That I can ride. Most importantly: I’m enjoying myself. Being in an environment I am familiar with and on horses I am much better matched to has made all the difference.
Do I regret my time with Dexter? Absolutely not. Many good things came from it. What I do regret though is letting myself be in a situation where I had so many fears. Where I let my fears determine my worth as a rider and let myself believe I couldn’t ride. None of those things were or are true and I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it.
Moral of the story is: you are not a failure for realizing you and your horse are not a good match. There is a horse out there for everyone, but not every horse is a good match for every rider. Learn what horses are your “type”. I most definitely have one and chances are most other riders do too. Just because you can ride a horse, doesn’t mean you should. At the end of the day, trust your brain and your gut feeling. Always listen to your heart, but don’t allow it to be the final decision maker. Finally, enjoy the ride.
The Horse is Not Black 
Oh gosh. I just stumbled across your blog, but I relate to this so much. I owned the wrong horse for almost 3 years. Moving on and finding May was, honestly, life changing. My old horse is in a great home, where he is very much loved and is much happier. And May and I are enjoying each other. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
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I never wanted to admit it, but I can’t begin to explain how much happier I am on my borrowed horse and back at a barn. My horse was kept at home nearly the entire time I owned him. I learned to hate riding by myself, hate riding outside of the arena and I owned a horse I wanted to want to ride, but most days I didn’t. Usually our rides were fine if I forced myself to sit on his back. Why did I try to convince myself for so long that riding should be this way? He was at my friend’s place until he sold and we did have some good rides, but the more time that goes by without him, the better I feel about my choice. He is doing wonderfully in his new home so that helps too. I am going to try and start blogging slightly more regularly again. Thanks for stopping by and I am so glad that I am not the only one who has felt this was about a horse they loved.
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It’s so important to be on the right horse! And I think part of being a good rider is recognizing when you’re on the wrong one.
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I think I knew it in my head all along, it just took a while for my heart to be a bit more logical.
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